Everyone of us has been with a “narcissist” and if you haven’t, well lucky you! This is probably one of the worst and most volatile relationships you can be in, especially if you’re like me and are anxiously attached.
So how could I possibly learn love lessons from someone who- quite frankly- did not love me?
Well believe it. I won’t say I’m necessarily grateful for the experience, but I definitely learnt lessons. Some I learnt more than once… and the hard way.
Let’s go!
Don’t Lose Yourself In A Relationship
A relationship- any type, isn’t supposed to be completely about one person only. You can’t live your life for others, put your needs aside for someone else.
Love Isn’t Hard
And you aren’t hard to love. Nor should you have to beg to be loved. Your love isn’t conditional.
Empty Promises Get Old Fast
Actions speak louder than words, promising change and never changing is not enough. Promising to do something and never doing it… gets old fast.
Fighting Isn’t About Who Is Right
If you’re in a relationship and every fight feels like the other person is trying to win, and there is some invisible score board- it’ll probably never end well. When you fight to see who is right, no one wins. Fighting, arguing, disagreeing is about finding common ground, understanding each other and then (in my opinion) reaffirming your love for each other and moving on together. (And of course not throwing it back in each others faces).
You Have To Respect Your Boundaries Before Anyone Else Can
I have been saying over and over that only one person has to respect your boundaries and that’s YOU. No one else. This means whenever someone ignores a boundary you put up, the onus is really on you to enforce them.
I actually feel like I learnt a good bit of lessons from that relationship- however there must have been an easier way. And from now on I’m not going to be so hard headed. And in the words of Arianna Grande- Thank you next! I’m so f*#king grateful for my ex!
LMAO
Merry Christmas!
Samantha
