It’s December 31, 2021, how time flies. It feels almost surreal typing this up. The year moved so slowly yet so quickly at the same time. I’m filled with mixed emotions as I look back and appreciate the year we just had and look forward to 2022.
Celebrating in a pandemic is a newish concept now that we are two years going into three. A lot is happening and we are all experiencing traumatic experiences. Sometimes it feels like the end of times are near! Anyway, in no particular order and looking back at my year, I’m going to share with you twenty one lessons I either learnt the hard way or from others- lol! Please note these are in no particular order and some are very self explanatory.
1. Get Vaccinated
I have been completely vaccinated and boosted against covid 19 as well as vaccinated against the flu. I wish we had less vaccine hesitancy and more persons getting vaccinated. Its year two going into this pandemic and the vaccine rate is still too low!
2. Just Buy It (you know what I’m talking about)
Every time I have bought something that initially I said was too expensive or overpriced but really wanted I never regretted it. Leaving something behind that I really wanted though? Instant regret. Once you can afford it and you want it? Just get it. Not everything has to make sense.
3. Give Online Dating A Try
After starting the #PandemicDatingJA on twitter online dating became a hot topic. I’ve never been a fan of online dating since I insist I am a vibes person and must meet someone the old fashioned way. Well, many persons have success stories and it’s worth the try!
4. Make Time For Your Friends
If I’m being honest I learnt this from 2019 when after years of isolating myself I decided I needed to reconnect and over the last couple of years that’s exactly what I have done. People and relationships have become increasingly more important to me and I have strengthened and mended many relationships by simply deciding to prioritise my friendships.
5. Get Over Your Ex
Whether it was a toxic relationship, you miss them or you’re stuck in a crazy cycle with them, taking a hard look at the relationship and how it may be stunting you is important. If it’s not going to work it’s not going to work. It’s not worth it to put your life on hold for something or someone you know isn’t going to happen in the back of your mind. And yes- trust me I know it’s not easy. Facing reality and making the conscious effort to move on are steps in the right direction. Don’t stunt yourself, your potential and future relationships by holding on to what’s no longer serving you.
6. Friends Break Up Too… And It’s Ok
Sometimes someone won’t want to be your friend any more- sometimes you won’t want to be someone’s friend anymore. People grow apart. People are no longer compatible and sometimes it just isn’t working. Friendship breakups can be horrible, especially if that person is really important to you, it came out of the blue or you both never spoke about it. I think being ghosted by a close friend might be with worst thing ever.
7. Enforce Your Boundaries
Whether it’s with work or loved ones, no one is responsible for your boundaries other than you. Sometimes people will just not care and you will have to act accordingly by changing the relationship dynamic. It is exhausting to continuously have your boundaries crossed, so don’t allow it or when someone does cross it you act accordingly.
8. Learn Your Loved One’s Love Language
Knowing our own love language is important, but I guarantee your relationship will improve if you take the time out to understand how loved ones feel loved. That way you can show them just how much you care about them in a language they understand.
9. Understand Your Attachment Style
Whether you’re a secure, avoidant or anxious attachment, even just knowing which one you are can do wonders. I had no idea about attachment styles until this year and understanding that I’m anxiously attached has improved my relationships tenfold!
10. Start Therapy
As many of you will know, I restarted therapy and I love it. It’s not all skipping through a field- it is hard work. I have been forced to face myself and things I had tucked away. Doing therapy has made my relationships with others and myself better, friends are listening ears not dumpsters for my trauma. My own emotions are more stable and there are things I do now that I never imagined I’d be doing last year.
11. Go To The Beach
12. Try New Things And Have Fun
13. Eat Good Drink Good
14. Get Dressed
Getting dressed and looking put together has made my year. I automatically feel good and confident. I love feeling pretty, getting dressed for myself and not others really improved my self confidence.
15. Appreciate Time With Loved Ones
This year my friend Jodi died and it was one of the hardest moments for me. I cried living eye wata when I spoke at her funeral. She told me her cancer diagnosis and we spent as much time together as we could and for me it still wasn’t enough. I’ll always remember her, I’ll always remember Toni. I miss them dearly and still think about them.
16. Take A Break
I sincerely believe life is made for living. You can’t go go go go and put yourself on the back burner. Burnout is real, and now more than ever, it’s important to sign off and take some time to yourself.
17. Take Chances
On people, on your career and on yourself.
18. Take Lots Of Pictures
At some point I stopped taking pictures, when I was in high school I would do full on photoshoots and loved documenting everything eventually I kind of stopped and called it “living in the moment” and I wasn’t even doing that. I love taking pictures and now I’m going into 2022 documenting everything AND enjoying life to the fullest.
19. People Know What You Look Like
This has been a hard one for me. Self image has been a rollercoaster ride for me for ever, but I also realise that people know that I’m fat so why wouldn’t I post something because I look fat. It’s not a surprise, I don’t turn around and you go “omg you’re fat?!” So I’m going to wear the dress that shows my fupa and I’m going to post the picture where my belly is sticking out or my arms are showing…. People know what I look like.
20. Love Your Flaws
LISTEN, sometimes I look at my face and all I see are imperfections. I made a conscious effort to post pictures of my face showing my hair, textured skin and acnes. It’s scary but when I post them and the world doesn’t end it makes me feel a little bit braver and a little more confident. I’m an imperfect person- my flaws make me me, make me beautiful and honestly it’s time I give myself some slack.
21. Be A Child Again
This year I went back to blogging, I went back to cooking and creating. I enjoyed doing these things when I was a child and teenager one day I just stopped. It feels cathartic to go back to the things I enjoyed and loved to do. When we were children we didn’t care what others thought we just did what made us feel good- and as an adult that’s how I want to live my life.
There you have it- 21 lessons! WOW.
Happy New Year!
Samantha
