At the start of last year I wrote a blog post about the 21 lessons I learnt in 2021. I used a note on my phone to jot down major lessons I learnt in 2022 and before writing this article I compared them. It is very cool to see the similarities and the differences! I encourage you to read that blog post first before reading this one and join me on this journey.
The theme for 2022, in retrospect, seemed to be all about chasing happiness and pursuing peace- so much so that I’m inspired to write more about that journey. Learning more about myself and happiness and becoming a happier person. Stay tuned!
Here are my 22 lessons learnt in 2022!
1. Don’t Take Things Personally
Whenever bad things happen to us, someone rejects our advances, we don’t get a job or we buck our toes on the side walk- we tend to think there is some vendetta against us! That these things happen because of who we are. This is exhausting, I have genuinely found that when something happens, especially if someone doesn’t like me back or I didn’t get xyz opportunity, saying to myself “don’t take it personally” has seriously helped in getting over it and well- moving on to the next thing.
2. The Meaning of Happiness
Now, I have been loving this podcast by the Atlantic called How To Build A Happy Life . It has transformed my entire life. It speaks multiple times about what happiness is, and how it really isn’t an emotion per say. Happiness is an equation.
Happiness = Satisfaction + Purpose + Enjoyment
So, in order to be happy, you must be satisfied, you must have purpose and you must find enjoyment in your life. Since knowing this, I’ve become a ‘satisficer’ this is someone who basically goes with the satisfactory option versus spending a lot of time comparing and waiting to find the ‘perfect thing’. I did no justice to this, read more here. Overall, I’m actively chasing and pursuing a happy life!
3. There Is No Such Thing As A Bad Emotion
LISTEN! There are some emotions that just come with negative connotations. Anger, envy, jealousy, shame… I’ve written about anger before. Emotions are guides, they clue us into what we are missing, experiencing and feeling. Once we start accepting that emotions are natural and helpful in improving ourselves and our lives, we can start learning and benefitting from them versus being controlled or being ashamed by them.
4. When You’re Overwhelmed Do Nothing
I learnt this only a few days ago. I was listening to Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris, the podcast episode entitled ‘Brené Brown Says You’re Doing Feelings Wrong’ and she said when you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to differentiate that from feeling stressed, because the only cure for feeling overwhelmed is to stop what you’re doing and do nothing. Go for a walk, listen to some music… but pushing yourself more to complete a task or whatever else it is you’re doing- will only make it worse! Where was this when I would “break tasks down into smaller bites” and still struggle- when all I needed to do was… take a break.
5. Ignoring Your Feelings Won’t Make Them Go Away
I think this is pretty self explanatory. Feel your feelings and let them go. It is MUCH harder than it sounds, I have found that sitting with your feelings, experiencing them and then telling yourself its okay to feel this way has done wonders for my life. I have stopped trying to “rationalise” feelings or “dwell” in them.
Identify them, feel them, let them go and REPEAT.
6. It Is Your Job To Make Sure You Uphold Your Boundaries
I spoke about boundaries in my 2021 article, and I’ve learnt more lessons in 2022 as well. No one has to respect your boundaries except you. And if we don’t respect and uphold our own boundaries others for sure will not. It can be hard, especially with loved ones such as family, lovers and friends. It’s worth it though.
7. Put On Your Own Oxygen Mask First
All the cliche sayings are right. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Etc etc etc. Basically, make sure you’re good before making sure others are good. This past year has been an emotional roller coaster, and I have had to step away from draining situations and relationships because I needed to make sure I could breathe. It’s sometimes a conflicting experience because you can feel selfish, uncompassionate and like you’re letting down people you care about but… suh it go? I haven’t learnt how to deal with those emotions of guilt when I put myself first but we will get there!
8. Sometimes Reading More Means Listening to Podcasts
This is a bit tongue in cheek, what I really mean is that there are so many ways for us to get information. A lot of us want to read more- but in my opinion, reading long articles (such as this one), listening to podcasts, watching videos and simply consuming content that inspire you, teach you something or whatever else reading does for you… count. So while I feel bad about not reading as many books as I’d have liked- okay I started a bunch and didn’t finish any. I’ve learnt a lot from reading essays, long form articles, listening to podcasts and watching videos.
9. People Show You Who They Are
… and you should believe them the first time.
10. Lean Into The Fear
I remember having a conversation with my mentor over drinks, making excuses about how I was afraid to do xyz and they looked at me and said that’s a good thing, just do it. Since then, anything that makes my heart beat a little faster, or makes me a little scared I just do it. No regrets since.
11. Manifestation Works
Now, a lot of persons have varying views on manifestation, I think we all manifest in some way shape or form. Whether with prayer, journaling, speaking things into being or imagining something happening. We all do it. The part that is the most important is letting go of the anxiety and fear. Something that again- is not easy. If you want something, claim it and have faith that it will happen. Worry and fear and anxiety around it only makes it less likely. What I mean by this is, if you want a new job and you manifest a new job and let go all the fear and anxiety around that, you are way more likely to take the steps towards getting a new jobs and being open and aware of new opportunities because you’re not stuck worrying or being anxious. Try it!
12. You Can Learn Your Lessons The Hard Way or The Easy Way, But You Will Learn
This is the mantra of my life for the past couple of years. We have to open our eyes and see things (and people) as they are. We can be stubborn and stuck in our ways, but when the universe has a lesson to teach you, you’re going to learn it. The easy way is learning it sooner rather than later. I have found that the longer you take to learn and move in the direction the universe wants you to, is the more obvious and painful the lessons become. Learn them easily and learn them early.
13. I Don’t Like The Men That Give Me Butterflies
Turns out this is just anxiety. I want the man that makes me feel still.
14. Tell People How They Make You Feel- Especially If You Love Them
LISTEN, doing this can make people’s day! And if can make you shift a relationship dynamic just like that. Talk up.
15. Say Thank You… And Mean It
16. Say Sorry… And Mean It
17. YOLO
I remember when the acronym ‘You Only Live Once’ came out, there was so much hate. I love it now, I am YOLOing life. And what that means to me, is that I live in awe and wonder of everything. Even having a cup of tea is amazing. If I want to do something, and I’m able to, I’m going to do it. Life is so short, why not make the best of it.
18. Don’t Wait To Use Your Good Things
Stop saving things for a special occasion!
19. Relationships and Connections Matter
I think the meaning of life is about forming and forging meaning for relationships and connections with others.
20. It’s Okay To Not Get It Right The First Time
Adulthood is so weird, we grew up failing and retrying until we eventually get it right but all of a sudden as adults we’re supposed to have it all figured out? Nah. Just look at a child for inspiration, they fall and fall and fall when trying to walk- and guess what they do- Get up and try again.
21. The Power and Value of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is about taking the shackles off your own feet. Forgiveness is for you… not for them.
22. You’re Standing In Your Own Way
So move and believe you can.
2022 in retrospect has been an amazing year, when I was experiencing it, there were several painful and challenging moments. I am excited for 2023 and all the lessons it has to bring.
What did you learn in 2022?
Love,
Samantha
